Hello, guys! Today I'm going to share something important regarding how we give and receive love. That may sound strange--especially coming from another dude, but it's important. Have you ever felt like you're just not connecting with your wife? Has she ever said that you're not connecting with her?
Well, someone blessed me a long time ago with this concept: The 5 Love Languages
. If you "speak" the other person's love language, they feel loved. You can work your butt off trying to show your wife how much you love her by doing the dishes, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, etc. However, unless she speaks the love language of "acts of service," she may not receive that as an act of love. I can't imagine any woman not appreciating all that work--but that may or may not translate into filling her "love tank."The love tank is a tank. It contains perceived love. The more full it is, the more loved she feels. People act completely different when they feel loved! And, if that tank is empty, boy you'd better watch out! That's when you start hearing the dreaded question: "Do you love me anymore?" You may think, "Woman, what in the WORLD makes you think I don't?! All I did today was to show you how much I love you!" That's when you know that you didn't speak her love language.
Needless to say, you want to know your wife's primary love language(s). Here's a hint: listen to what she complains about! Shocker! Listen to what she says and funnel it into one of the following five love languages.
- Gifts - very cheap or free thoughtful gifts can often go the farthest
- Quality Time - And no, watching the game with her next to you doesn't count
- Words of Affirmation - "Your cookin' makes me excited to come home, honey!"
- Acts of Service - Doing dishes, taking out the trash, doing stuff that you know she'll appreciate when she notices it
- Physical Touch - No, sex doesn't count
The follow-through
Okay, men, here's some action items:- Learn your wife's primary love language. What does she complain about the most? Which category do you think that fits in?
- Set a daily alarm to remind you to speak her language. Be thoughtful about when to set it. Sometimes calling up your wife in the middle of a busy day just to tell her that you're thinking about her will go a lot farther than casually saying it when you're home--though that will likely get received well, too.
- Do the thing you think will make her feel loved--and vary it from time to time
I've met Gary Chapman in person at a men's retreat in Texas and he's a neat guy. The five love languages works for humans--so whether they're your parents, wife, children, etc., the concepts will work.
I highly recommend reading one of his books on love languages. His books are easy to read and apply. Do you already have one? Read it. Don't have it? Get one. Here's one that speaks directly to us men.
I highly recommend reading one of his books on love languages. His books are easy to read and apply. Do you already have one? Read it. Don't have it? Get one. Here's one that speaks directly to us men.
Be blessed and a blessing!
Brandon
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